Feeling Like Crap.....

Not a really good day today...

Started out not too bad...then things started to fall apart...f**k...

It's like all the stuff that I've been keeping to myself starting to get the best of me...seems like I can't hide it any longer ::sigh::

So far I've been following whatever people told me to do, to me they know better...but after a while it looks like it's all about following whatever they say...get what I mean? As time goes by I'm starting to want to have a say on something...but if you gonna make every decision regarding my life according to you, please.....I'm begging you...please, please, please...ask for my opinion too.....

I'm a human...I'm alive...don't I count????? Don't I get a say of what to do in my life?????

Am so tired of following people's orders...wants to get away from it...but can't find a way...am really afraid that my heart and myself can't hide it...might burst out like a volcano...

Now am out to do some more thinking...roger and out...

::sigh::

I really hate to become a burden to someone...even though they said it's okay.

Urgh! Hate it, hate it, hate it...

Am Lost In The Sea Of Emotion...

Am emotionally imbalanced these few weeks...Hate that kind of feeling...

Having feeling sucks...

Now am feeling sleepy...sleep is good...coz when you sleep you tend to forget all your problems...

The bad news is...when you wake up...your problems will come and hunt you down again...::sigh::

But then again...life without dramas is not a life at all...however too much dramas can cause headaches...not good...

However...I can still cope with all the dramas in my life...so far...

If one day I can't handle all of it...I will leave everything and lay low for a while...just to reset myself back...

Am exhausted from today's work...off to bed now...or sort of...

Chiow peeps~

Life...As It Is...

I'm wondering why every time I have a trip coming up, I will get so fuckingly moody...So here's my diagnosis on my problem. I think that because I know that I have a trip coming up, I will get so excited that I just wanted to leave everything and just go. The waiting is making me so fuckingly moody...and sometimes it shows...even if I try so hard to hide it. Like today, all of us are planning to do our Raya visiting...and after a while I got so restless...(seriously, just like a baby...I mean, you do understand how a baby will get so restless after going out for so long) and I started to do stupid things (in my mind I do think it's stupid) I just can't wait to go home and lie on my bed and doing what I'm doing right now.

And another thing that I realized today (I think for the umpteenth times already), people always take me for granted. Seriously...I don't think anybody ever trust whatever I'm saying the first time...they will always have to ask "Are you sure?" or sometimes they gonna ask somebody else the same question and that somebody will give the same answer as mine and they will automatically accept it. Urgh!!! So fuckingly annoying. Thank God that I will be away next week for the whole week coz I seriously think that I really need to calm myself and rediscover myself. And Thank God again that my destination next week have one of my favourite places in the world XD

Today has been quite an emotional day for me personally...I don't know about anybody else but to me it was and still is. One of my colleague's father passed away last night. I know that I'm not that close to that colleague of mine but we just went out together earlier that day and we had so much fun. And suddenly he was hit with that terrible news. Honestly I feel so sad looking at the pictures that we took together. I think I cried a bit (in denial...) even as I'm typing this post. Hang in there my friend. Semoga roh nya dicucuri rahmat dan di tempatkan dikalangan orang-orang yang beriman. Amin....

I Can If I Want To...But I Choose Not To...

Is it embedded in me to do exactly the opposite of what people told me to??? Sometimes I do think that it is...Maybe I'm being a bit rebellious...I dunno...but sometimes I refuse to listen to other just because they said so...

And another thing, I once told someone (you know who you are, M) that I'm putting something on a really2 high pedestal...I thought it was high enough...but unfortunately...not that high =(
Some stupid thing did managed to 'disturb' it...****!

So now I'm looking for a higher place to store it...and hope that nothing disappointing would ever even see it, let alone 'mess' with it...

You know, lately I'm not really looking forward to Monday...It means that I have to go to work...which I'm soooo over it...I think that I'm the type of person that gets bored easily...Or is it because the job I'm doing right now is not what I'm passionate about...not my cup of tea some might say...

Oh My God.....please help me...coz I really don't know what to do...I really2 need some motivation and guidance to help myself...I can get annoyed very easily nowadays...and I kept getting headaches (or is it time to cut my hair already???)

I need to get out of here...not blog here, Kuching here...but where to go??? Maybe I'll spend a week or two at some beach...I always love beaches...it's so peaceful (when you are alone la...don't go to the place where there's a lot of people...if not then you can't find solitude)

Wonder if anybody would even bother if I pull a stunt like that...I mean if I suddenly disappear for 2 weeks without any notice...

So now I'm off...trying to find something else to do...something else to annoy me...
Chiow peeps...(in a very bored cum annoyed cum lazy kinda way)

It's Been A While...

I think that my last post was in February...so that mean I haven't update my blog for about 4 months now. WOW!!! Blh tahan juak lmk ya...

So latest update on me. I'm now a working person (mcm pelik jak ayat ya...don't you think???)
I'm now working at The Ministry of Social Development & Urbanisation. Don't ask me what I do there coz I don't know either. People asked me to type stuff, so I typed...print something, and I'll print something...do stupid stuff pun do lah...(which is so fucking annoying)

I seriously need to get a life. So I think the 1st step that I can do to jump start my life is get the guts to freakingly drive a freaking car!!! I know and I fully realize the importance of it but I can't seem to find the courage to do it. If I can slapped my face just to snap me out of my fear, I would do it. But seriously????? HELP!!! I need some kind of miracle or whatever...

It sucks watching other people living the life their wanted (or so it seems to me lah...I don't really know if that's the life that they want but they look so happy and satisfied...and here I am...being the green monster)

I feel like running away and just start my life from scratch...(don't know if I could survive it or not, but you'll never know until you try it right???)

I keep imagining myself working for FIFA...traveling all over the world, meeting new and interesting people (but 1st I need to brush up on my people's skills la)

I really need a reality check. Gosh!!! I soooooo need to get a life!!! (I said that twice already...see how desperate I am???)

But right now I'm going to go to a corner and sulk and whine the hell out of me...

Chiow, peeps.....

I Will Never Look At The Letter 'E' The Same Way Again...

I'm in love with Eric Northman. Period!...

And that's why I will never look at the letter 'E' the same way again...because it reminds me of him...Eric...

Let me start from the beginning...I'm currently reading (finished actually) the Sookie Stackhouse's series...there's 8 of it (I haven't get my hands on the 9th book...soon I hope) Can you believe I got all 8 books already???...I'm actually staring at them right now with disbelief...It just seems weird that I managed to get all 8 of it (thank you very much to my parents of course for 'letting' me bought 5 books at once)

And in every book there's at least one scene showing how loving/caring/romantic Eric is to Sookie even though people know that he's the bad guy (more like he's acting like the bad guy rather than being the bad guy itself in my opinion)...and it's like the first time that I'm not jealous of the heroin in a book for getting the attention of the guy that I like...

I wonder where can I find such guy??? Now I'm really2 looking forward to the 3rd season of True Blood...and also the 10th installment of the series coming out sometime this year...

So here's a photo of Eric Northman...or rather the guy that plays the character, Alexander Skarsgard...yummy <3 <3 <3


Chiow peeps!!! Adios...watch out for those vampires, LOL~~~

New Year...New Update...

Happy New Year y'all...I hope it not too late to wish you guys =D

This week hasn't been too kind on me...my beloved team is not doing any good...looks like bad karma is still following them...I mean, enough la...I think they've suffered enough already.

The other not so good/bad news is that I haven't heard anything from my interview that day. Did I told you that I got called for an interview that day? Well I did...2 days after my birthday actually. I was so freakingly nervous that my heart felt like it was in a rock concert. I know that it's nothing actually...and soon after the interview was over...I felt such a relief... hahaha...stupid, I know.

I'll be heading to KL again next week. So I'm hoping to get the rest of my Sookie Stackhouse's books. I maybe at the same time persuade my parents to get me the Fernando Torres' book...I got the Steven Gerrard's one already...so it's only fair that I get Torres' one too, right??? XD

I just found out that one of my ex-coursemate is actually doing Masters in International Business in Australia... I seriously thought that he was doing something regarding economic or something cause he said something like that earlier...Oh! If I knew it earlier...I might ask him for more information...now I'm just sitting here in my room, unemployed...and felling a bit envy of him =(

So f**kingly sad+pathetic+depressing...URGH!!!!!

See??? I told you that this week is not a very good week...

Now the only thing to do is move forward and not dwelling on the past (how I wish it would be that easy...)

Adios mi amigos~~~